ONE TOPIC – TWO TAKES

By:  Holly Horning & Kurt Snyder

During this Spring Training, it is easy to use all our energy on what’s going wrong with the Tigers. But let’s change course a bit and concentrate on what’s going right. No more beating our heads against the wall!

There is a question to be answered and our writers will do their darndest to put smiles on your faces.  Holly and Kurt have not shared their answers to today’s question. It’s the best way for our readers to get the best bang for their buck. So here we go.


Who or what has been your biggest source of encouragement in regards to the Tigers this spring? Why?


HOLLY

Oh my goodness, I have no idea where to begin. There are so many promising candidates from which to select! Or so I am told by the local media – one in particular who is the chosen operator working behind that infamous curtain in the land of Oz.

But the task of winnowing became so much easier now that 15 Tigers escaped, er, I mean left to go play in the WBC. Boy, they must be sorry that they’re gone. Look at all the excitement they are missing! Even with some of the team’s best hitters missing, there are huge offensive numbers being put up!

What? Oh, my bad. Move it along then, nothing to see.

And guys are getting on base a lot! Tons of walks! Way to go!

What? Oh, $%$!$#^@%&. OK, time to move it along again….

But I am certain that the pitchers with last names ending in “er” are doing well. Come to think of it, so are other potential starters with facial hair, which now explains why the clean-shaven guys like Pelfrey and Sanchez aren’t.

And in a breaking story, the Tigers’ clean-shaven pitching coach has now ordered everyone in the bullpen to start growing facial hair as quickly as possible.

Not to be outdone, his counterpart who handles the offensive part of the team, was seen applying Rogaine to his face with gleeful abandon.

The team’s manager, who has no facial hair, has been bravely trying to calm the masses by studiously avoiding showing any kind of emotion while he updates fans with the latest count of bad games. Five, he thinks, then 6. He’ll eventually get there.

The GM, who also does not sport facial hair, has been mysteriously absent from the media rounds for a while. He must really be enjoying that brand-new office suite.

But no problem. That’s why the organization has a gauntlet of monkeys, er, media, to carry the message to the public after every game. Why be bored hearing about another shellacking when you can instead read how a single pitcher has now been able to find the strike zone? Why bother reading thoughtful analysis when you can instead have your knowledge, intelligence and loyalty insulted by the media mastermind of diversion? By the way, he is also clean-shaven.

Yes, it’s spring training. I’ve never really taken these games seriously but then again, I’ve never had to scrape the bottom of the barrel looking for the faintest signs of anything positive. All while trying to ignore some unsettling patterns that go beyond mere losses.

But I always come from a place of being “cautiously optimistic.” I really do want to see 4 of this story’s main characters have their dreams realized – a brain, a heart, courage and going home. I’ll leave it up to you to figure out who should get what.


KURT

Hey, things started to look up before the spring! When the Tigers had the opportunity to unload Cam Maybin and save that $9M, it really opened the door for the next man up. Just because we have no clue who that is makes no difference. If you are concerned about the candidates and their lack of offense, don’t be. Because if there has been anything that’s been proven this spring, we have plenty of offense to compensate for whoever runs out to centerfield on Opening Day.

Secondly, in another year where we all anxiously anticipated the World Baseball Classic, we should be proud that half our roster is participating. And if injuries should come our way as a result, at least they did it in honor of the countries they represent. When it comes right down to it, that’s really all that matters. We can make do.

If there is one thing we know for sure, this franchise has depth – talented depth. The Tigers can plug whatever holes they have from within. The names are really not that important. Just know that we’ve got more dudes only a phone call way.

As I continue down the obvious road to a championship, I can’t help but smile knowing that Brad has this team caring about base running again. Everyone else was probably out working on it when they interviewed Nicholas Castellanos, who you could envision fighting back tears when he realized how deeply he cared this season about how he runs the bases. It’s an epiphany really. It’s always a good sign when players start caring.

All in all, you have to dig deep into the minds of our players, coaches and management. There is very real pent-up intensity within their boredom. You don’t see it, but it’s there. And they are not about to waste it on meaningless Spring Training games and clearly they haven’t. If there is one thing we know for sure, this team can turn it on and off with the best of them. It’s off right now, but you wait!

Our manager will have these guys fired up and ready. This is a very calculated losing streak, one used to teach the team about adversity. Brad never misses a teaching moment, something you know you can always count on and appreciate about our skipper. What’s not to love on this team?


If you’re not yet on Twitter, you need to be!  It is so much more than 140 characters.  Totally Tigers presents the best articles, videos, pictures and radio/tv interviews for the most relevent news on the Tigers not found easily or locally.  We do all the work for you and bring you the latest news as it breaks.  And we’ll always leave you thinking.  Read us in the morning and get updates on the latest news throughout the day on Twitter.

If you haven’t checked out our site (@totallytigersbb) yet, here’s what you missed this week:

      Could Joe Girardi be looking for a new gig?

      Do you know what the term “Moycado” means?

      Pudge’s controversial remarks about allowing PED users into the Hall

      JV is adamant about punishing PED users

      Jim Leyland loves the Yankees’ chances, but he’s not saying much about the Tigers

      The Red Sox are still not out of the woods re David Price

      More rankings of the farm systems

20 thoughts on “ONE TOPIC – TWO TAKES

  1. Ha! Didn’t realize you two were such great writers of satire! Too bad your talents are wasted on a sports blog! Or not?

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    • It looks like they got together before writing their columns, doesn’t it? Great article, though. Loved reading every word of it.

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  2. When I saw the question I had already anticipated your responses. However thinking the worst means stressing out before you know the outcome . So when it happens you do nothing but keep stressing . Would it be too much kool aid to ask for a positive outlook until we have no reason to be approach ?

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  3. The Tigers ST 2017 is an amusing parody of professional baseball that’s all. Our manager is perfecting his deadpan delivery, hitters purposefully riding the breaks so as not to over-exert, pitchers feeling great & honing their stuff, so it’s all good. Don’t worry, we’re competitive … Al said so.

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  4. What’s going right? Nicks “caring” line has brought some laughs. BUT, he DOES look stronger and Quicker. McCann is in a very bad early funk and Brads not YET chirped about platooning Alex. Plenty of hotel space over at Lakeland. Comerica is bursting green already! Jennings has enough kudos to last till the opener!

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  5. All for poking fun to help us cope but the point about possible injuries at the WBC is no laughing matter. The players union should pay ownership for any IR downtime as direct result of player preparing for, or playing in a WBC game.

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  6. Surprising you both forgot to mention the players’ deep desire to win for “Mr. I.” That’s hilarious in and of itself! Forgive the local writer telling readers what to think. He needs to keep his access and he loves the chicken tenders and slightly burnt cornbread they serve in the media center lounge!

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  7. I am especially encouraged with Alex Avila’s quest to be the Opening Day starting catcher. He has exemplified true grit and shown the tenacity we have come to expect out of our Tigers!

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  8. Um…that exciting young prospect Infante is hitting a ton. Nice to see the farm system being so productive!

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    • Maybe the Tigers can look into getting Omar’s first DP partner back… Ramon Santiago. How nostalgic would that be?

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  9. I read that Jacoby Jones is looking good. Is he? JV Tweeted “Those of you freaking out about spring training: Don’t. It sucks, and we need to do a better job. But…it’s still ST and doesn’t mean s*** ” I feel better about our Tiger’s now. Sad

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  10. Not only did unloading Maybin ‘save that $9M’ and ‘open the door for the next man up’ for the Tigers, as Kurt joked, but based on Maybin’s (current/predictable) health w/ the Angels, it looks like his signing may have also ‘opened the door for the next man up’ in Anaheim, too! But I’m guessing LAoA have ideas for who that next man could be.

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    • Maybin’s updated spring numbers for the Angels so far….0 for 12, .113 OBP and suffering from right shoulder “fatigue” so is only DHing….

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  11. It is pretty sad when the Tigers best hope for winning this year is that 3 of the 5 teams in their division are in a rebuilding phase.

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  12. Another dumpster fire from AS today. As a good friend of mine who served in Nam back in the day said (which I also think was a line from a tune by the Jefferson Airplane) “it doesn’t mean ^^^^ to a tree” but thank god we have a GM whose got it all covered.

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  13. Brad needs the brains and must learn from his mistakes. Avila needs to have the courage to purge the management/coaches on the field, and Jim Leyland from off-field. Pelfry and Sanchez need to go home. And the entire team needs to put their heart and soul into winning this season in honour of Mr. I. Enjoyable read, by the way, Holly.

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