ONE TOPIC – 20 GIFTS

By:  Holly Horning & Kurt Snyder

‘Tis the season to be … Holly! And Kurt! We come bearing gifts. We’ve made a list and we have checked it twice. To these 20 Tigers, we have tried to be nice.

Our writers have chosen a gift for so many, but how many of these gifts did they share with each other? You guessed it … not any!

While we wait for Avila to start pulling the trigger, we will attack Christmas with much vim and vigor. Please see below as gifts will be awarded, to only the Tigers we feel were the most warranted. Enjoy!


HOLLY

Mr. IA ring. Big with lots of diamonds and an Old English D.

Al AvilaDuct tape for those moments when he feels compelled to overshare.

Brad AusmusA new bench coach, preferably one under the age of 60.

Jim LeylandA gorgeous retirement house far, far away in a land where baseball isn’t played.

Gene Lamont– The guest house at Leyland’s new retirement abode.

Dave Clark – The best vision care plan money can buy.

Daniel Norris – A personal trainer to shadow his every move in the weight room.

Michael FulmerJustin Verlander as his mentor for years to come.

Anibal SanchezAnother pitcher to handle those 6th innings.

Justin VerlanderMore run support to make it easier for award voters to see that he’s really the best pitcher out there.

Jordan Zimmermann – His own independent medical team.

Ian KinslerUniversal recognition by everyone in baseball for his hard work, talent and leadership.

Tyler CollinsEtiquette lessons.

Miguel CabreraContinued good health.

Justin Upton – The best year of his career, for both personal and selfish reasons.

Nick CastellanosFan appreciation for his hard work in improving both offensively and defensively.

James McCann – Regular batting practice tutorials with Professor Miggy.

JD Martinez – A new defensive book to match the one he keeps on hitting.

Jose IglesiasIan Kinsler to remain as his double-play partner.

Victor Martinez – A new set of knees.


KURT

Brad Ausmus – let’s get this one out of the way. For Brad: A clue.

Mike Ilitch – A “For Sale” sign.

Al Avila – A link to Totally Tigers. It can only help.

Miguel CabreraSomeone not named Romine who can play first so he can get a break 75 times a year.

Ian Kinslera ‘C’ on his chest across from the ‘D.’

Jose Iglesias – a Top Hat and a Rabbit.

Nick Castellanosan injury free 2017 season.

Justin Uptonan order of bats for 6 months not 2.

JD Martinez – a no trade clause.

Justin Verlander – To the man who has everything. A ring.

Anthony Gosean epiphany.

Jordan Zimmermann – a fresh dose of durability, preferably not from a needle.

Michael Fulmer18 victories for 2017.

Anibal Sanchez – from Jim Price, the return of his arsenal.

Mike Pelfreyfree trip back to Minnesota.

Stephen Moyaan outfield map and a glove.

Tyler Collinsa bird house

Daniel Norrisa ball … every 5th day.

Alan Trammella statue and a retired number.

Lou Whitakera statue and a retired number.

8 thoughts on “ONE TOPIC – 20 GIFTS

  1. To Cameron Maybin -Thanks for the memories – 315 BA & Super positive spark plug attitude & hugs – of course the Tigers management had to get rid of you.

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  2. We fans were all nestled & snug in our beds While visions of baseball danced in our heads Holly in her kerchief & Kurt in his cap Have given their readers “20 Gifts” to unwrap Who needs a sleigh with 8 tiny reindeer When Totally Tigers can bring us such cheer! My new favorite post .. fantastic!

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  3. Some dandies you two! And now your READER(S) return the favor. For Kurt, some sugar plums to sweeten up his 2017 season! For Holly, a cold Vernors to remind her to never lose the faith. A gift to you both, a jar of vitamins to reenergize you for more great blogs for 2017. Lastly, a promise: I’ll be good in 2017 and only complain about your “editorializing” my comments ” now and then!

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  4. For J.D. Martinez, a new contract to keep him in Comerica Park’s Right Field. For Justin Upton, a new CF like Andrew McCutchen, whom the Pirates want to trade. OK, I understand that neither will happen, but ’tis the season for good cheer! Come on, Santa! Deliver these gifts to Tiger fans!

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  5. Re Moya’s glove…The story goes that one time Dave Kingman had a problem with his glove. Richie Ashburn, who was doing TV for the Mets, said, “To fix Kingman’s glove they’d better bring in a welder.”

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  6. OK, I gotta’ call foul. Or maybe since this is baseball, I should call “Foul Ball”. A bench coach “…under the age of 60”. This is simply age discrimination. Sometimes a change of scenery is all that is needed. Maybe it is the particular individuals who are involved with the team who are the problem-not simply their ages.

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    • Hi, Herbelicious – Oh, my, discrimination was the last thing on my mind. This was my sincere attempt to only poke fun at Gene (baseball’s oldest bench coach by 20 years) who has been with the Tigers for decades. The “under 60” comment was only meant to refer to the Tigers’ tendency to keep coaches forever which is why I was skewing the age requirement. Please forgive…… – Holly

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